Today is the 10 year anniversary (if you can call it such a thing) of my dad's death. I told him that I loved him and left for school around 7:30am. He died while my mom was taking me to school. When I got home that evening he wasn't there anymore, nor was the hospice bed he was in. Sometimes I feel like I've come very far in dealing with this grief. But 100 years could pass and I will still pause and wish that I had asked him more about Poland and his life and what he thought of me and my life. I do feel his love, though, everytime I see a hummingbird or hear his favorite Beatles song ("You Know My Name") on the radio.

I can't help but actually feel pretty happy.

 I posted this exactly a year ago:

"A Wish

That July 4th, 2009 will be one of the proudest days of my life.

We're almost there.

Bret's parents remind me of why I'm happy and grateful for where I am, what I've done, who I love, and what I believe in.

But Bret reminds me that there is hope for the children of rich elitist Orange County parents.

Happy 4th :)"

I didn't know if this day would come. Things aren't perfect, but I'm confidant things are finally heading in the right direction. Things personally are a lot different now, for a zillion different reasons. I hope, hope, hope things get better from here.

Happy 4th, everyone, if anyone is even on LJ anymore.

My sister Charlotte is graduating today. I'm so excited and happy for her and selfishly anxious about being at my high school again. Also sad that my dad is missing it. What matters the most is the love she deserves for what she's accomplished, and I have to keep reminding myself of that.

So, here's to you C!! :)

 

My boyfriend is graduating today. I've never been more proud of him than I will be of him walking across that stage in a few hours.

Some had nursery rhymes. Others had Barmey. I had the following -- the top 10 albums I literally grew up on.

Seriously, you fucking waste of time "tea-partying" Republicans -- SHUT THE FUCK UP. JUST SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. AND GO AWAY ALREADY. 

I really should have deleted every ardent Republican person I know on Facebook. My blood pressure is getting way too high for my own good.

PETA has asked Pet Shop Boys to change their name to Rescue Shelter Boys.

....

...............


...........................................................................REALLY NOW?

I walked home around 12:30 last night from the Foursome's, and desperately wished I was staying up all night to embark on a road trip early in the morning, like when we left for Coachella at 3AM. One of those "get me the fuck out of my life" moments.

*Cue the Mamas & the Papas song*

Happiness: My boss David's wife Sarah gave birth to their first child last night!!! His name is Jamison Ronald Elliott, and he came in at a healthy 7 lbs. 2 oz., 19.5 inches. I can't wait for pictures! This also means that the office is fending for itself for the next few weeks while he's at home with baby & Sarah...wish us luck.

And then there's this: FUCK YOU ASUC ELECTIONS AND YOUR GODAWFUL RETURN TO MY MORNING COMMUTE THIS MORNING. Chalk EEEEEVEERRRRRYYYYYYYWHEEEERE and stupid fucking chanting coming from the campus. I was right there at the border of campus getting coffee at Milano and could see the roving gangs of sign-holding minions as if they were about to storm the Bastille. My usual cut-through-campus route from home to work will have to temporarily change. But ugh, I'm glad I'm not a student anymore, but still, UGH I'm still HERE and HATE this time of YEAR A LOT. If any of them actually did come up to me, I really don't know if I could hold back my rage. I just might explode.

So, those of you still in Berkeley, STAY AWAY FROM THE CAMPUS AND ITS SURROUNDING AREAS. FOREGO CURRIES & SMART ALEC'S FOR YOUR SANITY.

Marya, I wish you still lived here so we could hose away the chalk again, and then hide inside giggling incessantly.

And now, to the stock room to do inventory. Please aim for my head.

Happy Birthday, Daddy ~ I love you and miss you with all of my heart. :)

Way to fail, Zellerbach website, for giving me the run-around and asking me to sign in and re-sign in 5 or 6 times, all the while delaying the purchase of my measley little lawn tickets for the Dalai Lama til they sell out, meanwhile the phone lines are all busy and I hate you please die.

How un-Dalai Lama of me.

 It feels like summer down here. Driving to Escondido with Bret today reminded me how much I love road trips. It's time for a siesta before DEL TACO with Scotty.

Obama was in Costa Mesa today -- it feels pretty awesome knowing I'm 15 miles away from Obama. Good timing! :)


***Erin: I just saw a preview for Make Me A Supermodel tonight -- we're gonna be SO BUMMED.


EDIT: Natasha Richardson died :( :(

I SURVIVED SPRING HELL! My most hardcore-est Spring Hell is done!! I have many high school kiddies going off into SAT testing land tomorrow morning, and hopefully they listened to me and will do their best.  I'm just lucky to have survived a zillion 12 hour days and long drives all over the East Bay to tutoring locales and my endless hours in the office -- can't say enough about how much I love my office. I'm still surprised I survived the last 2 months.

Meanwhile, my boss and his wife are about to have a baby!!! Tonight at our post-meeting beer outing at Raleigh's his wife went into her first round of labor (when the baby isn't actually coming but it feels like he is) so David had to leave early. The baby is due March 26th (my dad's birthday!!!) but it's really any day now. I'm so excited for Baby Elliott!!

Anyway, this weekend is the first weekend I have to devote to ME. Oh the laundry, oh the cleaning, oh the television, groceries, Mario Kart, and SLEEP. Welcome home, me, and goodnight, world. Lots to do before I head down to my Mama & Bret on Tuesday for a few days. Oh Spring, please be kind to me.

I really want to see the Dalai Lama. He's my hero. :(

I'm flying home to see my mom & Bret a week from today. I know I've said that such trips home are quite necessary, but my dear damn god, this one will be a keeper.

And yay $20 in my bank account for the rest of the week!!

SAVE THE DATE: MARCH 14TH. LIFE BECOMES MARGINALLY NOT-SUCK.

And Top Chef finale...I'm satisfied. We'll see what happens at the reunion.

Thank you Marya for sending me this picture:



And suddenly my shitty day is less so.

I don't need a special day to shower my friends with love, as I try to do that all the time (I really hope I succeed!!!). I never had enough time to put together fun stuff for everyone this V-Day, but I am most definitely sending endless, unconditional love to everyone! :) *hugshugshugshugs*

I cleaned my room for the first time since....yeah there's a reason why I can't remember. I switched around some things, kinda messed up my left wrist doing it, but I LOVE my room all the more now, and I have more space on my walls to put more shit up!

My co-worker Laura and I have begun to teach each other Russian (her to me) and Polish (me to her). There are a lot of similarities grammatically and linguistically, and thankfully I know the Greek alphabet so I can sorta wrap my head around Cyrillic. It'll be hard because they're so similar...and thus the differences can be daunting and frustrating. Overall I'm really excited -- it gives us something to do when we're bored at the office and sitting 10 feet away from each other at our desks (right, Laura?). 

And it's a fun bonding experience realizing how much we have in common...but I already knew as much. :)